Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Life in a Limbo

We ended sophomore year last Thursday. That makes us...not 10th graders. But we're not technically 11th graders until August.
And so, I welcome you to the time of your life known as a limbo. Merriam-Webster defines a limbo as:

1) a place or state of restraint or confinement
2) a place or state of neglect or oblivion
3) an intermediate or transitional place or state
4) a state of uncertainty

We are not sophomores. We are not juniors. We are the wandering children of the summer. What does this mean? It means that now, more than ever, we need direction and stability in our lives. Aaand that's me being hypocritical. I have neither.
What I do have, though, is a brief, un-thought out plan for the future. As you'll see, it's full of holes and relies on specific events to turn out just the way I need them to. It's all highly unlikely, but it's what I want and hope for:

I don't know what I want to do in the future. I've got an idea; I want to travel, meet new people, and get homesick every once in a little while. I want to take a long train ride with no destination in mind when I get on, and find an adventure when I finally do. But that's the future future, the one we think about with a sense of detachment almost.

In the near future, the one that's going to occur in 2 years, I want to go to college. Even that's iffy; I don't know whether to attend a liberal arts college (preferably UCLA), where I can study art while continuing to study English and other cornerstone courses, or to forgo a liberal arts education and pursue a formal arts education at a technical art school (CalArts).

Beyond that, I just don't know. I've an idea somewhere that I'd like to teach art. Not like it's normally taught, though. Art has to be a disciplined class, contrary to popular belief. There are too many people who call themselves "artists", when all they are are sadly misinformed. Art needs to be structured and taught, not just "pure and from the heart". You can only attain that level once you understand what art is and isn't, and how to truly create with technique and skill.

Someday, I want to own a one-floor house that has a balcony. I want to be a trucker for a year and drive across America. I want to live in Ireland with my best friend Olivia and become a part of the nightlife. I want to go to the desert with Dylan and get lost in the red arches and sunsets. I want to visit Caroline on Broadway and be amazed by her technical skills on set. I want to go too yoga class with Kyana and write a book with Cassie. I want to work in a tattoo parlor, a coffee shop, an obscure music store. I want to be both a dedicated art student and a compassionate patriot for my country. I want to find my calling, the place and purpose of my life and talents. I'd like to maybe find God again, and tell him a story. My story.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

To Do List (poem)

-chase butterflies
-blow bubbles in public
-tie a balloon to your wrist for a day
-climb a tree and just sit
-watch movies all night with your best friend, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, whoever
-walk down the street at night with only the streetlights and the moon
-eat breakfast for dinner
-draw on the sidewalk with chalk
-take a spontaneous drive
-fall asleep outside
-run on the beach
-jump into cold water
-lay down in a park with someone you love
-wave at people you don't know
-listen to a child, be they young or old
-question everything, and then come to terms with it
-sit and watch the world
-tell them you love them
-wake up with a smile
-laugh so hard you cry
-be yourself, loud and proud
-forgive someone
-live in the moment

*posted on the windshields of various cars, at least 35.